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Evelyn C. Fortson

African American Author of Women's Fiction


When we were young and just trying to make it, fear was more easily disguised as busyness. Our jobs, kids, relationships, all of them were reasons why we could not do something. But, as we have gotten older our relationships do not need to be nurtured quite as much as it once did, the kids are grown and some of us are retired, or winding down in our careers, so why aren’t we doing what we always wanted to do?

I’ve always wanted to travel internationally, but I was unable to do so when I was younger. I retired at the start of a global pandemic so international travel was out of the question. Now, that restrictions are lifting, and international travel may be possible next year, fear has reared its head with a vengeance. I’m not too busy, I can afford it, but I am afraid to be on a plane that long.

My son when he was younger would always tell me to face my fear, and do it, (whatever it is) afraid. His words and a biblical scripture are what I rely on to center me and calm my fears.

2 Timothy 1:7 “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” I can not tell you how many times I have recited that scripture when the paralysis of fear has stopped me from the doing that I wanted to do.

Don’t get me wrong, fear is not necessarily a bad thing. Fear is innately in us to help us survive. I’m speaking of an unhealthy fear that stops you from living your life.

I hope you take a few moments to reflect on what you are afraid of and ask yourself if it is a healthy or unhealthy fear, and is it stopping you from living a qualify life.

Be patience with yourself because change is not easy. Life is a journey, enjoy and learn from the twist and turns in the road.

What is it that you are afraid to do, and what are you going to do about it?

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Agape love is God’s divine love, and that is exactly what my mother gave to me. My Mother sacrificed for all her children and loved us no matter what. My Mother never gave up on me and I know she prayed for my happiness and well-being. She cared for me when I could not care for myself. She picked me up when I fell, and she was the one I called when something good or bad happened. She was my friend when I was friendless.

As I got older, other people occupied the spaces that once only she occupied. She graciously stepped out the center of my life and allowed me to grow into a strong independent woman.

When I found someone to love, she was happy for me, when I had my son, she told me that now I would never be alone.

My Mother left this world five years ago, and I miss her dearly. The legacy that my Mother left cannot be measured monetarily. Her legacy is the love she gave to me and the home she created. Her legacy resides in my heart, comforts my soul, and eases my mind whenever it is troubled.

My Mother made raising six kids look easy. Being a mother of one, I am in awe of the strengthen that it took to do the things she did for her family.

Now that my Mother is gone, I am grateful for every holiday, birthday, and barbeque that our family celebrated together, because they are the memories that sustains me now.

This Mother’s Day I will think of my Mother and the times we spent together. I will raise a glass in her honor and thank her for loving me.

Happy Mother’s Day MOM!

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Once upon a time a bad boy, (trucker) with bad boy toys (motorcycle) and bad boy friends, (thugs on motorcycle) moved across the street from me. That fact that he qualified for a $600,000.00 mortgage was enough to send me over the good girl cliff. Every time I heard his big rig return home from a haul, I was so excited that you would have thought he was coming home to me. On the weekends that I heard a motorcycle’s motor revving, I would stop what I was doing in the house and go outside to water my lawn. Needless, to say, every old woman and young girl within a one block radius ran outside to water their lawn also. The neighborhood looked like a garden club meets motorcycle club convention. It was comical, we ladies would wave hello to each other with our water hose in hand while surreptitiously glancing across the street looking at the bad boys, smoking blunts, leaning back on their hogs and listening to music.

After a few months of this not so harmless fantasy I begin to seriously wonder what I would do with the man across the street if opportunity presented itself. Would I find myself in an entanglement like Jada? I had finally answered the age-old question can you be in love with your husband, wife, partner, and cheat on them. The simple answer is yes, but…it is a slippery slope that could lead to ruining a relationship that was worth keeping. While it may have been a fun ride, (a ride where you looked like you were, rode hard and put away wet) I doubt if my feelings would not have tried to get involved, and before I knew it, I would have been dab in the middle of an entanglement. Luckily for me the housing crisis of 2008 hit, and my bad boy lost his house, saving my relationship, and I’m sure a few other relationships on our street.

Can you cheat on the one you love? Can you cheat without developing a connection with the other person? Is the sexual act worst than the betrayal of trust?

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