FINALLY,DOING ME!

I am sure you have heard the expression; I’m doing me! My second book entitled, “Finally, Doing Me!” is the story of four women who are recently retired and are determined to finally live life on their own terms.

Effie is married to her husband Monroe, who has been unfaithful more years than he has been faithful, but that is not why Effie wants to live her life without her husband. Effie has come to the realization that time to, “Do, me.” Is running out. After years of ignoring the indiscretions and living in a world where she manufactured happiness for everyone else, Effie is now seeking happiness for herself. Before Effie can tell Monroe that their marriage is over, an unexpected illness may not allow Effie to tell anyone that she is, “Finally Doing, Me!”

Mrs. Georgia Bennett is married to a man that has provided her money, a big house, vacations, jewelry…everything that she never had as a single mother of two young boys. For years, the prestige of being Mrs. Georgia Bennet concealed the fact that her husband Lawrence Bennett had no intention of being a father to her sons or help them to become men. Years of benign neglect of her son’s emotional needs results in Georgia’s desperate quest to have a real connection with her adult sons and their families. Georgia desire to connect with her sons, has her declaring that she is, “Finally Doing, Me!”

Leah is happily married to her high school sweetheart. After years of working hard to raise their daughter, buy a home, pay their bills, Leah is finally retired, but Big Joe will not retire until Leah makes a necessary change. The plans Leah has for her, and Big Joe’s retirement years may be spoiled by her daughter Jemila. Leah must risk alienating her relationship with her daughter if she wants to be able to say, “Finally Doing Me!”

Phoebe has long given up on living life, she is merely existing. After years of drug addiction, and the loss of her child, mother, and Tyrone she is afraid to move forward. After Phoebe has overcome drug addiction all she wants from life is banality. Phoebe finds comfort in the sameness of each new day and may have lived the rest of life in that condition if she had not had a chance encounter with someone that looked like her Tyrone. Phoebe’s boring little life is forever changed, forcing her to finally forgive herself and live life, so she too can say, “Finally, Doing Me!”

“Finally, Doing Me!” is the story of four girlfriends of a certain age, who live quite different lives but have managed to stay connected for forty years. The ladies get together annually for a girl’s trip, and it is on those trips that they learn of each other’s desires to live however many years that they have left on their own term.

“Finally, Doing Me!” is currently in the editing stage and will hopefully be published before the end of the year.

Doing you means different things to different people. It can be a positive or negative act depending on the others things that are going on in your life. If you are a young mother it is probably not the right time to "Do, you." If you are a young woman just starting out in life, this may be the best time to "Do,you."

I am excited for your feedback on this project and the answer to the question, are you finally, doing you?

TOO BLACK TO WEAR RED?

I am hoping this is an asinine question. I am hoping that no one thinks like this anymore. There was a time when people that you loved and trusted felt the need to inform you that you were too black to wear red, yellow, coral, orange or any color that was too loud for your dark skin. Do not laugh because I am sure that women of a certain age have heard this before, especially if your complexion is darker than a paper bag.

I do not remember my mother telling me that I was too black to wear loud colors. I am sure she was more subtle. The message was insidiously ingrained in my consciousness by the time I was old enough to buy my own clothes. I was an adult with a child when I finally got the courage to wear a red sweater to work. I was feeling good, and I thought I was looking good, when a co-worker gestured for me to come to her desk. She leaned toward me as if she were going to tell me a secret.

“You know you’re too dark to be wearing that red sweater.” She declared.

And just like that I was that black little girl who was too dark to wear red.

I am a grandmother now, and I am ashamed to admit that I do not own a red sweater, blouse, dress, or shoes for that matter. I wear loud colorful clothing now, but somehow, I

have managed to steer away from the color red. I have made a promise to myself that the next time I see a pretty red dress, shoes, lipstick, etc. I am going to buy it and wear it proudly, because I owe it to the little girl in me to be fearless. I owe it to her to reject the dominant culture’s standard of beauty.

I would love to hear your story. Have you ever been told that you could not wear something because of the color of your skin?

ARE YOU STILL DREAMING?

Have you ever told your children that you were once a young child who dreamed of conquering the world? Do your children only know you as their mother, the person that cooks, cleans, and make their dreams come true.

Now, that my son is an adult with children of his own we speak for hours about the things that we believe in, our hopes and dreams for the future. He no longer sees me just as his mother; but as a woman who is still dreaming dreams and is hopeful for a brighter tomorrow.

My, son saw me get up and go to work all, of his childhood, and most, of his adult life. When he was young, he never knew that his mother was tired of the daily grind of going to work, cooking, cleaning, going to bed and doing it all over again. I, hope he saw the joy he brought me. I now watch him go to work every day to provide for his family, and I see the joy that his children bring him by their very presence.

My, son like myself set aside dreams that he had before he had children, in order, to secure their future. That is what parents do, but I want my son to know that his dreams do not have to die. Langston Hughes asked the question in A Montage of a Dream Deferred, “What happens to a dream deferred?”

My answer to that question would be dreams can lay dormant until they are really to be birth. They do not have to dry up, fester like a sore, or stink like rotten meat. Hold on to your dreams, keeping planning, praying, and putting yourself into position to be successful for when the time is right to live out your dreams.

Share your dreams with your young children, let them know when you have achieved what you set out to achieve, so that they can learn to dream and set goals for themselves early in life. If your children are adults, it is important that you show them that it is never too late to dream.... to achieve.