“Looking Forward” is the theme of this year's Women’s Conference for my church in Altadena. I thought about that for a moment and realized how appropriate it is for women of a certain age, such as myself. When I was young, pretty much all I did was look forward to the day I could do what I wanted without asking anyone for permission. Now that I’m older and have experienced so much loss, sometimes it’s hard to look forward.
Living in the past can be a comfortable place full of beautiful memories. There are people and places I will never forget (nor would I want to), but they are no longer a part of my present or future. Moving on from the past doesn’t mean forgetting. It means that I’m living in the here and now.
Looking forward, I know that my world will change, and with change comes uncertainty.
After working for over forty years at the Los Angeles Superior Court, I was a bit apprehensive about who I would be, what I would do, and whether there would be enough money to live like I had been living before retirement. I retired in March 2020, just as Covid-19 became a global pandemic. You might think I had no choice but to move forward, but that wouldn’t be true. The isolation of beginning retirement and quarantining because of the virus was very depressing. From 2016 to now, there have been so many deaths in my family and of people that I have known and loved. Some days, it was so hard to get up and look forward without fear and trepidation about what the future would bring. But I do. I look forward to each new day, knowing it is beyond my control. I start my day thanking God for a new beginning, another chance to be better than I was the day before. And at night, I ask him to forgive me for my trespasses.
Life is beautiful, but it isn’t without pain and suffering. There are things beyond our control, yet we do have a say in how we move in this world. We can be gracious, kind, and loving despite the things that could have made us bitter, depressed, lonely, or angry….
I have a choice. I can either give up and believe that my best days are in the past or believe that better ones are coming. I’ve had a good life, yet I know I haven’t seen the best that God has promised me.
Since retirement, I’ve self-published two books, the third of which will be published soon. I’m excited about my second act as an author because I know I can remain hopeful as long as I have something to look forward to. I can wake up excited, hopeful, and expecting something extraordinary as I look forward to each new season of my life!
Never let yesterday use up too much of today – Will Rogers
Beautiful. I like when you said, "I have a choice. I can either give up and believe that my best days are in the past or believe that better ones are coming. I’ve had a good life, yet I know I haven’t seen the best that God has promised me." I'm not retired at this time but I am thinking about life after retirement. I would like to have a second act and still be productive. I choose to believe that the best days are ahead of me. With God on my side, who can be against me? I will be alright and I believe He has something awesome for me to do when the time comes.